Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Spindless Moonerisms=Mindless Spoonerisms

The other night, Jay Leno conducted his weekly Jaywalking segment, where he ventures onto the streets of LA, showing pictures of famous people to random passersby. I was surprised that none of them could identify Libyan Colonel Muammar al-Gaddafi.

Some saw pictures of Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, who was mistaken for American Idol reject/phenom William Hung.

And former vice president Dick Cheney was coined by one jaywalker as Dick Tracy.

But the one that finally got me laughing out loud was the smartest girl of the night who knew the picture of Mr. Cheney, but called him Chick Deney. A classic Spoonerism.

As a chronic dyslexic—or dronic chyslexic, I have dished out my fair share of spilarious Hoonerisms...especially in the classroom...with my students’ names. Students such as Sharon Wu became Waron Shu. Patrick Matthews—Matrick Patthews. And this year there’s Shane Witsell, which I refuse to put down in writing (go ahead…figure it out…I’ll wait).

Sometimes after a really bad one, I’ll bust out my favorite rendition of Cinderella—a la Spooner—called Rindercella.

Once uton a pime there lived a geautiful birl named Rindercella, who lived with her mugly step-other and her two sad bisters. When she went to the bancy fall, she pranced with a dansom hince, but when the sock clucked nidmight, she had to heave in a lurry and slopped her dripper on her way to the corse and harriage…etc, etc…

This usually gets everyone rolling on the floor laughing—or lolling on the roor flaughing, which makes it difficult to continue my lesson on sarts of peech—parts of speech: vouns, nerbs, and joncunctions!

One day, if I’m ever in Couthern Salifornia, walking down Bilshire Woulevard, I hope to bump into Lay Jeno. Maybe he’ll show me some pictures, and I’ll know them all because I’m bruch a sainiac: Boe Jiden, Parah Salin, [K]ill Blinton. Pro noblem!